Mad Dead Girl's Love Song
by GinHermi
Summary: Violet is left in a whirlwind of emotions after her confrontation with Tate. "I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead. I lift my lids and all is born again. I think I made you up inside my head." Rated M for Mild Swearing and Adult Themes


**A/N: I'm very into this show and I had been planning on using this poem for Violet since I stumbled upon it a few weeks back, I just never knew how until I saw tonight's episode. Now, someone it seems right and it flows as opposed to what I had written before. I did check this but sorry for any grammar errors. Almost all the italics are from the poem or the words that Violet last says to Tate, which are go away. (* Taken from Pride & Prejudice) Hope you all enjoy!**

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><p><span>Mad Girl's Love Song<span> (Incomplete) by Sylvia Plath

_I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;_

_I lift my lids and all is born again._

_(I think I made you up inside my head.)_

_The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,_

_And arbitrary blackness gallops in:_

_I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead._

_I dreamed that you bewitched me_

_And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane._

_(I think I made you up inside my head.)_

_God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:_

_Exit seraphim and Satan's men:_

_I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.  
><em>

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><p>It was over with. She did love him-that she couldn't deny, but as she had told him she would never forgive him. How could she? He caused so much of her pain and so much pain to so many others; she had had enough.<p>

It had truly, honestly hurt her when she had told him to go away but she had to do it and she was happy that her mother was proud of her.

That being said, it didn't take away the loneliness. Though she and her mother were still able to be close together and she found comfort in it, she still felt a lingering sense of longing that try as she might, she couldn't extinguish. Though she was already dead, she knew that she was slowly going mad. It wasn't just about never forgiving him; it was just that part of her couldn't even fathom how someone would be capable of so much wretchedness. Part of her couldn't even fathom how she could have fallen in love with him.

Then, she figured it out. He wasn't real. _I think I made you up inside my head._ The devil with the innocent face that she loved so much wasn't real. She had simply made him up to quench some macabre desire inside her and now that she had gotten it, she could finally let it go and make it _go away_.

_I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead._

Try as she might to believe he wasn't real, to believe that he was just a figment of her imagination, she would sometimes she a flash of him in a darkened corner. _I lift my lids and all is born again._ Sometimes blonde hair would appear at her doorframe; in the kitchen; on the steps of the basement; in the bathroom; everywhere. No matter what she did, no matter what she said some part of him was still there haunting her, judging her and most certainly hating her. Because when she did convince herself that her mass murdering ghost of an ex was real, she knew that even though he still loved her (as he would always) he was angry at her. Angry that she would dare say the two words that would make him the most distraught he had ever been: _Go away._

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><p>Then one day-after several sets of owners had been scared off (some killed)-she saw him sitting in the backyard. Saw him fully for the first time in years and remembered how simple times had been before she found out just how dark he really is. She remembered how easy it used to be. She remembered the first night they made love. <em>Kissed me quite insane.<em> It had been a night she, briefly, couldn't believe she hadn't remembered. There had never been such a feeling of love within her and around her as there had been that night. It would be the only night. Despite that time had passed and that it no longer pained her to see him, she still couldn't forgive him-she told him she never would and she was keeping her promise.

The longing drove her insane, his actions drove her insane, the inability to rest in peace and leave the Murder House drove her insane. Dead she was but unconscious she was not. So much lunacy within such a tiny space drove her completely insane. She became nothing more than a shred of the girl she had once been and the last rational part of her that was still alive only felt guilty that her mother had to watch her only daughter, essentially, fade away.

Violet still haunted the Murder House, she just barely knew who she was or where she was. She didn't remember her mother, or her ex lover, or any of the other ghosts. Though her mother would do her damn best (like the great mother she was) to bring her out of her lunatic shell and though her ex beaux would shadow her every steps, nothing seemed to bring the ghost girl out of her trance.

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><p>Then one dark and gloomy night, the one she loved finally made his presence known. He <strong>was<strong> angry at her (he **did **still love her) but he was even sadder than she was or ever had been since there parting. His longing was made deeper by his past sins; and seeing her as she was now, only broke his ghost of a heart further. So he walked in to her room and tried to reach her. Vivien stood at the door with a glaring look:

"Don't you dare. I don't care who you think you are, you still hurt her and you hurt me. There is no way in hell that I'm letting you near her."

He looked down at the ground for a moment and then at Vivien: "Please. Just for a moment. I haven't talked to her in decades at your request and I've kept my fucking promise. I need to see her, touch her hand just this once and I'll never even think to ask you again."

"Why should I do you a favor? You raped me! I died giving birth to **YOUR **demonic spawn! And on top of that, you have the gall to have lied to my daughter all throughout! Give me one good reason why I should let you near her!"

"Because I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything that I've done-to you, to Chad and Patrick, to those kids at the high school, I'm just so damn sorry!"

Vivien thought for a moment, thought him sincere, but said: "Sorry isn't going to do anything. Try again."

He thought for a moment and then said: "Because I tried to save her."

Vivien blinked in astonishment for a second: "What?"

"When she took all those pills…I tried to save her, tried to get her to throw them all up."

Vivien looked away, closed her eyes and bit her lip in frustration. After a few minutes, she turned to him and said:

"Five minutes. That's all. Then, no more. Got it?"

"Yes, thank you Vivien."

She stormed off and let him enter her daughter's room. There she was, he thought, the love of his life (or rather afterlife) curled up into a ball in her bed with a blank face. He kneeled next to the bed so that he could take a good look at her angelic face once more-even if it no longer recognized **him** or anyone. He told her that he loved her and that he hoped she would regain her senses even if she always ignored him and would for the rest of eternity (_involving them both in misery of the acutest kind_*). Then he grabbed her hand at which she only blinked. He brought the fragile little hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss upon it. He was going to leave right then, until his longing and his impulses acted for him and planted a sweet kiss on her lips. He felt the sparks that he always did when he kissed Violet, even if she wasn't responding back. Then in a split second, she did kiss him back. Just as quickly as she had responded, he pulled back, whispered I love you one last time and left the room.

_Kissed me quite insane._

It was then that Violet woke up from her trance. She knew what had happened because she could still smell him in the air and taste him on her lips. Then and only then did she speak one word she hadn't spoken in years: "Tate."

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><p>But saying his name would do nothing and though for a few hours she had a happy reunion with her mother, when her senses lost the smell and taste of him, she became reduced to a mindless puddle once again. And when she did become entrapped in her lunatic shell, she couldn't understand that she had ever come out of it, or why. Vivien didn't understand either. Tate never knew that Violet had regained her senses. So she was right back to where she was before her damned beloved had visited her. Her mind a thousand miles away, her body ever always decaying, and her soul wishing it was dead.<p>

_I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead._


End file.
